Have you ever worked in a toxic work environment? One where you were overworked and undervalued? Where coworkers were more like mortal enemies? Where managers allowed politics to transpire? Where staff turnover and stress levels were alarmingly high?
Even though it’s ‘just work’, it’s still one of the most draining situations to find yourself in. Especially when you value your career (which most people do!). But there are things you can do to help you emotionally detach from that work place and get a way better job!
Start with setting boundaries
Guess what? You don't owe your toxic colleagues anything; not your guilt, not your time, and certainly not your emotional stability... and you know this.
The problem is that you’ve let the toxicity take up so much of your energy, for so long, that it seems easier to handle what you’re used to rather than climbing your way out of it and suddenly becoming the ruthless one.
But here’s the thing — when it comes to toxic people, there will ALWAYS have to be a winner and a loser.
This is because these people do not play fair, and more often than not, have very loose morals. They don't lose sleep over sabotaging someone’s work, conjuring up gossip to look superior, or dismissing someone else’s achievements. They ALWAYS NEED TO WIN. And if you work with them, like it or not, you’re already the loser (because you are a good person!).
So if your hand is being forced to play this ridiculous game, you shouldn't feel guilty about suddenly setting boundaries. If that means not answering their calls or removing yourself from gossiping in the workplace, so be it. Whatever brings you down — cut it off. Don’t feel as though you owe anyone your emotional investment. Start seeing your mental health as a currency — if someone’s draining your mental health money, stop paying them! Because although you might be trying to be nice and keep the peace, it’s YOU that’s going to end up broke in the end.
Resign like it’s a breakup and let yourself heal
Breaking up with a partner and resigning from a job require the same emotional strength. We get stressed and emotionally drained by toxic work environments, just like we would a toxic relationship. We can lose sleep over it and dread seeing it poke its ugly face out every Monday morning.
in saying this, when trying to manifest a new job you may still be subconsciously holding onto the trauma from your current or recent role and you need to give yourself time to heal. The best way to do this is by seeing your resignation as if it’s a breakup from a toxic ex; realise that this relationship was hard and not worth your time but have faith that the next one will be so much better. If you don’t do this, you could find yourself attracting another job with a similar workplace culture or, even worse, not believing that happy and harmonious workplaces exist at all — just like what can happen when you go from one toxic relationship to the next one.
A good way to avoid this predicament is by giving yourself time to heal. If you can, take annual leave to recuperate. Spend the first half of your leave switching off from work completely, and the second half zoning in on, and applying for, the jobs you really want. Do it from a place of clarity and purpose, not desperation. Just like when you break up with a toxic ex, you need time to heal before you move into your next relationship. If you’re too desperate to get back into a relationship you’ll find yourself back in the same one.
Identify what you want and look out for what you don’t want
As you’re going to interviews and talking to potential employers, keep an eye out for signs they exhibit similar dynamics to the toxic workplace. Get really clear on what bothered you about the toxic workplace. Was it the drama? The management style? The targets? The competitiveness? Understanding these things not only help you to release the past, but also identify what you WANT in your next job.
Before you start applying for jobs, it’s a good idea to make a list of things you want and don't want in your next role. It could look something like this:
It’s good to keep it simple. Obviously, you’re going to need some investigatory skills when you’re talking to different employers in order to suss out their workplace culture. That’s why it’s good to do this list right at the beginning — so you can get clear on your goals and be ready to ask some tough questions. For instance, if there’s a breakdown in communication at your toxic workplace, ask the interviewer what platforms they use to communicate with their team. You can also ask how many team meetings they have per week, whether everyone works full time from the office, and whether management is onsite Monday-Friday.
If you’re sussing out the general workplace culture, rather than ask if it’s a positive one (which every employer will answer ‘yes’, regardless of the truth), ask what strategies are in place to keep the culture positive — or whether they have strategies at all.
These deeper questions will make you feel reassured about your decision to move. They’re also likely to impress the employer, as you’ll give the impression you’re committed to the role and invested in the culture.
For more information on how you can get THE job, visit:
